Frivolous funeral?
Whilst travelling up the M1 with my travelling companions the other weekend, I took the opportunity of snapping the following image:
There is no doubt that this is a sidecar hearse. Seeing this got me thinking about funerals in general, and (for example) whether opting to have your coffin transported to the burial site / crematorium in a vessel like this is entirely appropriate. Other instances of funeral frivolity might include tongue-in-cheek song requests and 'edgy' readings at the church. Would things like these upset certain mourners?
When you drill down to it, my key question is: should a person be able to decide on the format and procedures of their own funeral, given that they themselves will not have to endure the event? Alternatively, what is the relevance of the oft-repeated phrase: "It's what he would have wanted", given that 'he' no longer has any ability to appreciate anything through 'his' being deceased?
Please discuss.
1 comment:
I like your line of thinking. When someone says "it's what he would have wanted", convention says no one can argue with it.
I'm not sure I could answer the question at hand, but have some related comments.
I do get real pissed off about the hushed tones surrounding death. The taboos and unwritten rules that have build up around discussing people that have passed on are myriad.
E.g., note that I said passed away rather than died, used I guess to soften the blow of what is being discussed.
But then, having gone through grief in the past, I understand that it is really tricky as it's so easy to upset a person.
An example Dan The Man likes to quote is what is said when someone, especially a child dies: they "had great potential", "were the life and soul of the party", "were the most popular in the class", "always had a smile"... etc.
Dan says he's glad he's boring, grumpy and has no friends, which means he's really unlikely to die young.
We in the west are a bit hung up on it. Speaking to far eastern types, they seem to have a really healthy view to it, the karma-based view that, well, shit happens, concentrate on what you can change, and accept what you can't change.
Not so easy when you're there, mind.
On the other hand, perhaps the rules and taboos are there to help us through the process. This is what one does, how one grieves, etc. A bit of structure can be useful in such a situation.
I'll stop now - back to work...
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