Pieces in the jigsaw

I was taking lunch with a colleague in a restaurant today; we were discussing what we were going to do directly after lunch. I said I intended to go over to our other office to link up with a different colleague and 'pick up a jigsaw' from him.

My co-luncher paused momentarily, then asked: "What is it of?" I did not know what he meant, and so I asked for further clarification. There ensued a confused exchange, eventually resulting in him asking me whether I was 'well into my jigsaws'. This last query was the trigger for my realisation that we were talking about different objects.

And so this leads on to my enquiries arising:

- why on Earth is a 'jigsaw puzzle' normally truncated to 'jigsaw' when such conversational havoc can be wreaked?
- can anyone think of any other similar such confusing abbreviations?
- is it down to someone's conditioning how likely they are to assume one is talking about a 'jigsaw puzzle' when they say 'jigsaw' or is it innate?

How are you?

This Abstract's mundanity / blandness is - in my humble opinion - offset to a certain extent by the frequency of occurrence I have witnessed it out there in the Urban world.

The most recent instance was when I was sitting on the bus. The girl in front took a mobile phone call, her opening lines were as follows:

"Hello? Ahhh, hello X, how are you? Yeah, I'm fine thanks, how about you?"

What is the reason for this immediate repetition of the question? Is the first enquiry in actuality just a space filler because "Ahh, hello X" is too terse, followed by the proper question, the response to which is taken on board?

Or is it the case that the second enquiry is automatically tacked on to the answer "I'm fine thanks" because whenever one doesn't get the question in first, it would appear grossly rude to not ask the question back? That is, a double-ask seems a relatively minor indiscretion as compared to no ask at all, with the double-ask being the side-effect of the safety net.

If anyone else has been on the receiving end of this 1-2 before, how have they responded at the second time of asking? I have not always been sure what is best form, because to give the same direct answer a second time kind of highlights the preposterous nature of the conversation up to that point!!

Guest Abstract

The following Abstract was submitted to me by my good friend Paul Spreadbury, so I thought I would share it with everyone. Thanks to Paul for his musings

"...whilst drinking with my football buddies last week i found myself contemplating thoughts along your lines...

There is one lad in the group of 12 of us who is the butt of all jokes. he is an easy target, and in fact seems to play up if not revel in this role within the group.

I cast my mind back to our school days and the comparisons with our very own Massy were clear to see. Another who 'played up' to the role within the group.

So, after further thoughts, i came up with this deliberation..

In every group, whether it be social, work or otherwise, is there always an easy target who faces the jibes, jokes and pranks, and moreover, is this person one who likes the role, feels comfortable in this role within the group and even perhaps creates this role for themselves with their actions (not neccessarily pre-meditated)?

I would welcome your comments on my thoughts..."

Faulty zipper - criminal act?

Yesterday I was wearing a pair of grey trousers that have a zipper which tends to work itself open if left unchecked. I'm not sure why the zipper does that.

I was in the queue for coffee at work, and facing away towards the seating area staring absent-mindedly into the middle distance. Following a couple of years of ownership of these trousers, it has become second nature to periodically reach down and rectify the zipper.

So without even consciously deciding to move my arm, it had grasped the zipper and pulled it up. Then I had a moment of self-awareness and realised that a woman seated at a table about 20 feet away was partially scowling at me. I am guessing that from her position, it looked like I had grabbed my crotch for no good reason whilst facing her directly!

No further action was taken, I got my coffee and returned to my desk. But I projected a 'worst case' scenario outcome, and found it possible to contemplate that I could have had a complaint levelled against me for sexual harrassment.

So the conclusion of this blog is as follows: there are some crimes for which it seems possible to argue that intent or negligence needs to be proved in order for the crime to have occurred, but I suspect that this is not a universal view.

Put another way - do you think I was actually sexually harrassing that woman, notwithstanding the fact that I didn't intend to?

What I am facing - will it shape my future?

This is the view that is directly above my computer screen, which I therefore look at many hundreds of times in every week:

• The postcard featuring the queen was given to me upon the occasion of my birthday by Kaye Yip a couple of years ago. I recently added the oriental moustache in a moment of ennui.


• The mulleted footballer was part of some internal hate mail sent to me when I had long hair myself. A friend of a friend (who I did not know very well) enclosed it along with a note saying that my hair 'looked shit'.


• The photograph is of Kate and me on stage in the function room of the Savoy Hotel during a works do. For some reason I had been bigged up in my department as a huge fan of Chesney Hawkes and so when 'The One and Only' came on the sound system I was obliged to go up front and sing along to it.

This Urban Abstract is essentially an enquiry into whether what we become accustomed to / exposed to over a period of time will shape how we develop in the future - and what the consequences of that can be.

For instance - will I be more likely to veer towards monarchism, keeping short hair, and being nostalgic about Chesney Hawkes now that these images have been impressed upon me so many times? For the record, I think the answer may well be yes, although I am not an impartial observer in this case.

Furthermore, if the answer is yes, just think how so many apparently random paths are interwoven throughout time, which combine and influence our future behaviour (which in turn goes on to influence more events, and so on)!

In a roundabout way, I think I have just convinced myself that I am a proponent of determinism! See here for further details: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Determinism