A pearler of a conversation

Alright, so my Oystercard blue plastic wallet was getting a bit worn and falling apart. So much so, in fact, that once or twice the card itself had fallen out of the wallet into my pocket.

Therefore the next time I was passing through a tube station (which happened to be Temple), I went to the old guy at the window and had the following exchange with him:

Me: "Have you got any of those plastic Oystercard wallets?"
Him: "What's the magic word?"
Me: "Please?"
Him: [gets new wallet and pushes it under the glass, plus he may have said something like "That's better" but in honesty I cannot recall]
Me: "Thanks" [walks off]

I spent the remainder of the short walk to my office thinking about the exchange, and whether my opening question had been impolite. I have concluded that since I didn't actually know whether or not the guy had any wallets behind the desk, my question was a genuine 'fact-finder' and therefore didn't need to be adorned with P's or Q's. The guy probably thought I was directly asking for one (that would have been my next question) and therefore demanded politeness.

Does anyone concur or disagree with my analysis? If it is correct, I wonder what someone with (say) Asperger's Syndrome would do when asked for the magic word? Surely someone with such a strict literal interpretation of the world and language would be bemused, since they would not be able to make the link that the guy was inferring that they were asking for a wallet?!

I'll stop there.

Long-changed

I was in the queue in Stanford's book and map shop at lunchtime, and the woman in front of me bought a book worth £9.95. She paid with a ten pound note.

Now, I didn't actually see what happened immediately after, but then the woman started as if to leave the shop, then stopped and said that the shop man hadn't given her the 5p change. He said that he had, and she said, "No-o..." [where one's voice goes down, and then up again on the 'o']

His sardonic retort was, "I can give it to you again if you want?" The woman seemed happy with the outcome, took the 5p and left the shop.

If the woman was right, why wasn't she incensed by the man's sardonicism? If the man was right, then one of two queries arises:

- if it was a genuine error by the woman, does she have a memory shorter than a goldfish?

- if it was a deliberate ploy by the woman, is this a con trick which is easy to perpetrate, and if you accumulate the profit of 5p (or 1p for £X.99 items) from every cash transaction you ever make, you can earn good money?

Have any readers witnessed this first hand?

Frivolous funeral?

Whilst travelling up the M1 with my travelling companions the other weekend, I took the opportunity of snapping the following image:



There is no doubt that this is a sidecar hearse. Seeing this got me thinking about funerals in general, and (for example) whether opting to have your coffin transported to the burial site / crematorium in a vessel like this is entirely appropriate. Other instances of funeral frivolity might include tongue-in-cheek song requests and 'edgy' readings at the church. Would things like these upset certain mourners?

When you drill down to it, my key question is: should a person be able to decide on the format and procedures of their own funeral, given that they themselves will not have to endure the event? Alternatively, what is the relevance of the oft-repeated phrase: "It's what he would have wanted", given that 'he' no longer has any ability to appreciate anything through 'his' being deceased?

Please discuss.

Hostile handshakes

At work, I started a small project on a new client not so long ago. The week before last I went out to meet the client for the first time, and we had a short meeting discussing the project.

There are two main client contacts, and they both took us to the reception of their office to show us out. When I shook the hand of the junior one, he seemed to frown in the most thunderous way he could whilst giving me a penetrating stare. This struck fear in my heart - I immediately wondered if I had made some sort of gaffe in the hand-shaking method. Or perhaps my flies had worked themselves open? (see Abstracts passim)

Anyway, I tried to forget about it and left as normal. Last week we had a second meeting, and again when it came to departure outside my office, the guy did exactly the same thing! It was most disconcerting.

So I began wondering why he would do this. Is it to try to impose an intimidating persona upon the people he meets in the business arena? Or some facial tick associated with the action of shaking hands? I suppose I genuinely could have done something offensive on two separate occasions, however no-one else present seemed to notice! If I get the chance to shake his hand again I will probably try to mirror his expression and observe the results.

Sports graffiti

At the end of my row of houses is a boiler-room type block. There is some crude graffiti on the doors of this block, as expertly photographed by my phone:



Now, the key issues of the Abstract are:

(a) Did the graffiti artists spray sports symbols in earnest or were they ironically highlighting the evils of sports branding and the work of 'cool hunters' who work for these large brands? (in the past we have seen campaigns - I think Nike and possibly Sony may have been involved - where graffiti artists have been paid by the companies to spray expert corporate murals)

(b) If the latter, was the misspelling of 'Adaidas' and 'Hi-Teck' done with a mischievous tongue in cheek?

(c) Am I crediting the youth of East London with too much nous / level of social commentary? Are they simply poor-spelling louts with no better message to convey through spray than their favourite trainer designs?