How are you?
This Abstract's mundanity / blandness is - in my humble opinion - offset to a certain extent by the frequency of occurrence I have witnessed it out there in the Urban world.
The most recent instance was when I was sitting on the bus. The girl in front took a mobile phone call, her opening lines were as follows:
"Hello? Ahhh, hello X, how are you? Yeah, I'm fine thanks, how about you?"
What is the reason for this immediate repetition of the question? Is the first enquiry in actuality just a space filler because "Ahh, hello X" is too terse, followed by the proper question, the response to which is taken on board?
Or is it the case that the second enquiry is automatically tacked on to the answer "I'm fine thanks" because whenever one doesn't get the question in first, it would appear grossly rude to not ask the question back? That is, a double-ask seems a relatively minor indiscretion as compared to no ask at all, with the double-ask being the side-effect of the safety net.
If anyone else has been on the receiving end of this 1-2 before, how have they responded at the second time of asking? I have not always been sure what is best form, because to give the same direct answer a second time kind of highlights the preposterous nature of the conversation up to that point!!
4 comments:
I've caught myself doing this. I keep expecting my second "how are you" to provoke a second "how are you" from the other person, as if they have to match me in the how-are-you stakes so as not to appear rude. It's never happened though. Perhaps to do so would lead to and endless rally of how-are-yous, spiralling away into infinity like when you put two mirrors face to face.
I've also noticed that the first time someone asks me how I am, I give a glib answer like "good" or "fine", but if they follow it up with a second request I feel more compelled to tell them the truth, which is usually "shit".
I once had to kill a man in Dudley simply to get out of a never-ending cycle of "I'm fine, how are you?" that lasted nigh on 4 hours.
On a less frivolous note, I'm fed up of the back teeth of this happening at work:
Me: "Is that Paul?"
Paul: "Yes, speaking..."
Me: "Paul, it's David Steel from Howie White..."
Paul: "Yeah, I'm fine thanks - you?"
...on the basis that Paul *thinks* he's heard me say:
"Paul, it's David Steel how'r'ya awright?"
Which I haven't at all.
Nobs. With bells on.
I agree with Mr Bartram that it is sometimes necessary to ask twice to get a genuine response. It could therefore be that she is asking again because she is genuinely concerned with the welfare of X.
Far more likely, however, is that she has picked up her phone because she is on a bus and has nothing else to occupy her tiny mind. She has nothing to say to X and has used the "double ask" to force them to start off the conversation. She secretly hopes that X will respond with "no I'm not alright actually, Y has been shagging my boyfriend for several months behind my back." She is actually using the double-ask as a fishing technique, hoping that by pounding it against her opponent like a blunt instrument she will force them to reveal titbits which she can then use to fill her idle moments on the Number 8.
To defend bus girl from Mark T's venting, wasn't she receiving the call? And therefore it was up to X to dictate the conversation direction anyway?
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